Wife's Past

My wife had some previous relationships. One in which she had gotten pregnant from. I had met her when her baby was a year old. Anyway, I did not have a past. I believed in saving yourself for that one special person. She was my 1st. We dated for a while and she denied me for the longest time. It hurt. She says she did it because everyone told her I would use her and she had ex's cheat on her was afraid she'd get used again. Although I'm the only person to not use her or treat her bad. We had the discussion of who she had been with and details were said. It destroyed me. In her telling me details I lost my confidence and self esteem. She didn't want to hurt me by telling me these things but she did. We got married after dating for about 2 1/2 yrs. Things were great. Then I found out one of her ex's was calling her and she him (this was 6 yrs ago). She claims it was innocent but never told me because she didn't want to hurt me. I'm hurt and don't know what to do. I love her, but bad thoughts flood my mind. I picture her with her ex's, I dream about it, etc. I can't be intimate with her because I think of her ex's getting the same views as I do and it kills the mood. Sometimes I wish I were them. Why wasn't I worth her waiting? We fight almost daily about it anymore, I want her to make it up to me, but we're at a loss as to how. Please help.