Why do I always pick the wrong guys?

by Barbara
(Carroll Ohio)

As far back as I can remember I have always ended up with the so called "bad boy" type of men. I have dated a biker, an ex-con, and married an alcoholic abuser. In the beginning these guys swore they were one thing, but were really quite another. I usually ended up wasting years of my life on trying to FIX the relationship or waiting on them to change into what I thought they were.

I'm now 42 years old and it seems as though I have never really had a relationship that was healthy.

My parents divorced when I was 3 years old. My father is an ex-Army officer and my mother is a RN. Although they divorced they still tried their best as parents to raise me and my siblings together. Ive tried to analyize the "whys" and questioned "whats wrong with me" trying to figure out how my relationships always end up the same way. Even as I type this I am in a 3 year relationship that isnt going well. He isnt the typical type of man I would have chosen before. Hes a carpenter and hes good at what he does. He is also basically a good man, never really been in any trouble like the men I dated before him, but he definately has control issues and I am planning on leaving him in a few weeks as soon as I get the funds together to do so.

I guess my question is...how do I learn to be happy with myself. I dont want to go through anymore bad relationships. Im exhausted and really over the idea of being WITH SOMEONE. Thanks in advance for any advice