why bother to exist

by Josh
(Australia)

I'm a male just turning 40 and everyone's been telling me it's down hill from here nothing to look forward to anymore. My brother in-law (sis husband) said "I want to plant this seed in your head." Now i definitely don't want any sort of celebration party.

So I really started to think why do I bother in life. Why am I here, what is the point in accomplishing goals if in the end I will die anyway.

Each year that passes the weaker we are and closer to death we get. Why bother saving for the future when death is waiting for you. Why bother loving when death will tear your love apart. Why try and stay fit, healthy think young when death is the end. Why care if I get sick, it doesn't matter if I'm sick or healthy, death is the end.

Why feel fear in life when death is the ultimate end. Why feel joyous when each turn of the clock death awaits your name. Why am I here. who cares if I feel anger or sorrow or pain, love or joy or think of the future of the life I have left, as this too will come to an end.

Why bother with material possessions, money, assets, friends, family or the state of the earth if everything even the earth will die in the end.

Now I cant get this empty feeling in life out of my head. I feel like i am non existent already, like one little raindrop that evaporates into eternity of nothing.

An overwhelming feeling of hopelessness.