I am 14 and I go to a cheap public school in New York. I have few friends I can trust and I am bullied every day. I'm not a "geek" or a "nerd" I'm a normal kid who never bothers anyone. These people in my school make me feel so useless.
I have had low self esteem all my life. When I was 12 I made my first suicide attempt. I couldn't do it. Earlier this year I got beat up and tried again. As before it did not work. I feel as if my life is an empty void of uselessness. I just sit quietly, why do they pick on me? The only person who understands me is my Oma. She is the only person who seems to believe in me. I cry to sleep most nights dreading returning to my horrible school and being bullied. I need a reason to live because right now I have none.