Trying to get the old me back
by Gina Mc.
I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease, fibromyalgia, cfs and more. It has been very disabling in the past 12 years, and during all these years my husband has dramatically withdrawn from me. This includes verbal, emotional, and mental abuse. No matter how hard I try to reach him he only comes back at me with so much anger and says the most (untrue) things about me.
He has been aware that I am no longer 100% as I used to be, but now that doesn't matter to him, He says things like I am a worthless bitch and more. Before I got worse, I accomplished losing 34 pounds (of which I have gained most back), I worked outside the home, was always organized, house always clean, dinner always made, and now all I want more than anything is to get back to where I was at before. I may not get it all back, but I have to do something to get out of his control and hatefullness. Too many years have gone by with this same routine, but only to get worse each year.
I am desperate to rebuild my self esteem and learn a way to not let him keep bringing me down. I am 47 yrs old, he is 50, married almost 28 yrs in March. We have 2 children, one is 21 and married with our first granddaughter who is 3, and we have a 13 yr old son still at home in which it's always just my son and I together all the time, husband chooses to stay in his garage when not working with his own group of friends.
HELP! If anyone has advice or knows what kind of life I'm living due to experience, I would greatly appreciate hearing from you.