Poor Self Esteem and Jealousy

by DAWN
(COSTARICA)

HI I'M GOING A BIT CRAZY THESE DAYS WITH MY HUSBAND. I NEVER HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE. I HAVE BEEN WITH MY HUSBAND FOR 10 YEARS AND IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A PROBLEM. HE SAYS HE LOVES ME VERY MUCH AND WANTS TO BE WITH ME FOR EVER, BUT HE ALWAYS STARES AT PEOPLE SPECIALLY WOMEN. WHICH DRIVES ME CRAZY.


IF HE WORKS OR MEETS SOMEBODY HE LIKES HE GOES ON AND ON ABOUT HOW GOOD THEY R HOW POSITIVE ETC ETC AND ALWAYS SEEM TO ME LIKE I AM NOT APPRECIATED HALF AS MUCH. OF COURSE HE DOES NOT LIVE WITH THEM. IT HAS GOT TO THE POINT WHEN I THINK I WOULD BE BETTER OFF BY MYSELF THEN I WOULD NOT HAVE TO BE JEALOUS.
SINCERELY
ANA

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Self Esteem and Jealousy
by: kay

Hi Dawn,

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth.

Unfortunately, most men look at other women, it's something they seem to do. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, but as you say, it makes you very jealous and upsets you. Have you explained to him that it does? Perhaps if you tried to tell him how this hurts you he might try not to look so often.

I feel you need to work to rid yourself of your jealousy by raising your self esteem. When you don't feel good about yourself it takes away confidence and self assurance.

You have to somehow find a way to start to love yourself and appreciate the special person you are.

Why not pamper yourself every so often, perhaps buy yourself something eye catching to wear, get a new hairstyle, have your hair done or join a gym. Work on feeling good about yourself.

Let your husband see what a wonderful person he married. Make him only have eyes for you when you are out! Feel confident and strong when you are in his company. When he looks at others it doesn't mean he doesn't love you any less.

When you look into the mirror, talk to yourself, say how lovely you look today, or better still say "I love you Dawn, you are so special."

I think there are many women who feel they aren't appreciated enough by their husbands. Often it's because they don't have separate interests from them, don't have their own friends to meet up with and chat to. Is this how you are? Perhaps you can join a group, maybe go to evening classes, take up a new hobby, that will enable you to do something just for you.

I think you are aware that it is your low esteem that is causing your jealousy, and when you work on becoming more confident and more sure of yourself, your jealousy should lessen.

Good luck, take care,
Kay

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