Obsessed with Husband's Every Move and Jealous of His Female Friends
I've been married a few months and am expecting my first child. I am a complete mess.
My husband is in a predominantly female field and around much younger women on a daily basis, some of them very attractive.
I snoop into ALL of his stuff, check his schedule religiously, watch the clock like a hawk to make sure I know when he's on lunch break so I can expect his call. If I don't hear from him, or actually even if I do, I have a panic attack. Who is he eating lunch with? Is he studying with a girl after class? If he's not home at exactly the right time, I wonder if he gave another girl a ride home. If I see text messages on his phone between him and his female co-workers, even if they're totally innocent, I feel nauseous, sometimes ... sometimes the texts are really nice ones about ME, too!
I'm a relatively successful and attractive woman. Not gorgeous or a millionaire, but I'm OK. I do have A LOT of insecurity and low self-esteem. I feel like my husband is too attractive for me. Women love to be around him because he IS a great guy and is very good looking.
I worry that he won't love me when our relationship isn't brand-new and exciting anymore. I'm worried that younger, attractive girls will give him more of an ego boost than I do. He definitely appreciates an attractive female (nothing inappropriate - just notices beautiful women and is a tiny bit flirty sometimes). He tells me he loves me and is very supportive of me.
My anxiety level is out of control. I can't sleep. I need to know EVERYTHING he does. I feel sick all of the time. I am having a nervous breakdown.
I need to figure this out or I won't make it through this marriage or through life.