my life so far

by some sad boy
(algeria)

I have never thought that I can express my feelings but maybe that's the way to change them. I'm 18 years old boy and I have been sad for almost my whole life.

When I was a kid I was weak and shy and too sweet with others people. They laughed at me at school because I was different. People liked me for my sweetness but they mostly took advantage of me at school at home.

In general I hated my life, imagine a little kid in his little world hating his life until the middle school. I suffered two more years
then one night I said enough is enough. I went to school the next day and the first person who made a joke about me I beat the hell out of him they take him to a hospital. That was the case for two years. Every one that looked at me strange I beat him up no matter how small the reason was. I always used violence then people just stayed away of me. Even those who liked me in the past turned their back on me. I didn't speak to anyone because everyone was scared of me but they didn't bother me anymore. I thought that this was better, but the loneliness killed me from the inside.

I thought for weeks until I found a solution. I went to a boxing gym. I said if I put my aggression in the ring maybe I will be open with the world and meet new people who will like me and I found out that I was a great boxer. Outside the school I met a great people in the boxing world and I was not violent like before I just ignored everybody.

I got to high school and make new friends and I spend a great year but in the second year they turned out to be bunch of traitors, they betrayed me big time. I didn't trust people any more, I was always alone, I hated my life once again and the last year at high school I made new friends but I didn't trust them, I just waited for them to betray me again

Eventually I didn't take my exams and dropped high school and that's my life so far. I don't know were the future will take me?