I have just started yet another job 12 weeks ago, and yet again I feel I don't belong there. It is in a doctors surgery as an HCA.
On Friday my senior sister said that she could not baby me any longer by keeping on reassuring me that the job I was doing was a good one, that I needed to decide whether the job was really for me.
All the other nurses stand around between patients talking but I dont as I don't feel I belong.
I just want to hide away in my house and never go out. This happened in my last job so I know there is something wrong with me.
As I was growing up I was always told I was silly, that I was moody, hard work to get on with.
I was bullied at school. My mum told me to ignore it. I was physically abused by my brother, and my mum told me that I was to blame because I was as bad as him.
I don't make friends easy as I feel people just put up with me, that they don't really like me, they suffer me. I even feel that way about my husband (that he puts up with me)