Lost hope

I am 42, even that I am a "plus size" am a beautiful woman.

What I really do not understand is why I have to struggle so hard to live.

Since I was a little girl I always felt that I was a burden for the others that I was a mistake.
As I grew up I had dreams and hopes that I pursued with passion but nothing ever happened. I work hard and never seem to get anywhere. I have had good jobs and one day to another companies decides to close and I am laid off.

On the love department I have had bad relationships actually nothing serious. Somebody told me once "you live begging for love and only get the leftovers".

Nothing more true than that. Every man that got close was married or had another relationship I was only a cheap entertainment. No one has ever loved me. I gave up on love a long time ago.

I do not fit in either, I am not able to socialize because I am so different from the others that I don't have common interests with anybody.
Most people reach for me only when something from me is needed.
I no longer look or wait for anyone, I am just trying to live the best that I can, but keep myself isolated.
I really feel that I need something to warm my heart and make me happy. Only my cats and puppy love me.
I still feel like a burden and try not to interfere with the others, I think my best choice is to keep isolated.

Comments for Lost hope

Click here to add your own comments

i feel your pain lady :)
by: johnny

my life is exactly like yours except i 1 i never got a good job and 2 i have 2 cats haha. isnt it a joke out there? dont you feel like a begger? thats exactly how i feel and i dont know why im a nice person. you in your letter seem like a smart and nice person. i am so tired of seeing people who have it all i have nothing i dont get it. but im not gonna lie to you like others and say go on a camping trip or swim with dolphins or go to the bahamas or whatever pisspoor answer people give. all i know is what im doing which is trying my best and trying not to give up. i dont have money for the trips and i dont think "doing stuff" to keep your mind off of truth is the answer. just be friendly, keep hoping, and keep trying. i wish you the best :)
Lost hope
by: Anonymous

Just to say that most of us at some stage in our lives go through a period of the dark night of the soul, I would call it.

Life does get stale, maybe you need a change of some kind. Have you interests you would have liked to follow up years ago but you put them aside for something else. Now you can look at it.
As for relationships, if you are trying too hard to find someone, just give it a rest for a while and concentrate on doing something you would enjoy.
I do not know what your circumstances are and what sort of money you have or are earning.
It is a matter of making yourself happy not expecting someone else to come into your life and make you happy. There are other lonely people out there who feel life is passing them by. Give them a thought. When you least expect it something will happen for you.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Personal Growth.