Kate

by kate
(England)

I keep leaving my jobs because Is suffer from low self esteem, thinking everyone opinion is worth more than mine and find it hard to open up and be me.

I recently left a good full-time job because I hated confrontation, I did not know how to deal with things, I was unhappy within my role. Instead of discussing my concerns with colleagues I turned to drink to make me feel good, by blocking my emotions and not dealing with my issues at work. In the end I got too depressed and left my job.

I am working now but it pays less than the other job, I'm working part time hours and have had to move back with my parents because I could not afford the rent. At 30 years old, I wish I had taken the action I had needed to and stuck up for myself or got help, instead of running away.

Everyday I regret this as I have no life and nothing to look forward to.
In addition I split from boyfriend after 2 months of losing my job, he could not take my depression any more. I search for jobs everyday now and just want to go back to how things were (independent).

I have learned to,

Never make a decision to leave a job without a job, especially when depressed. Always find the positive things in your situation and be thankful for what you have. However everyday is a struggle to forgive myself for making a mistake but I will be fine.

Good to hear from people who may have similar experiences.

Comments for Kate

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Been there, done that.
by: Anonymous

You are not the only person in this position, other people are too. It is just that something does not jell and you feel you could not relate or to knew how to handle your co workers. It is a way to stand your ground if something is not right without going overboard. it is finding the right words to say to someone when a matter needs sorting out. Some people are difficult to approach as they tend to think that they are always right. on the other hand you have to look at where you could be wrong and acknowledge that.
It might be a good idea to seek some counselling before trying to find another job. Maybe if someone else has a problem and talks to you about it, you may be able to shed some light on it. The other person may bring up an idea that you had not thought of. An assertiveness course might help.

Low self esteem
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. Everything about low self esteem is about our own thoughts. We cause our own low self esteem by believing what other people say about us, by reacting in a negative way to what people say about us, and then taking it all on board and letting it soak in and thinking I must be like that because that's how they say I am. Then we continue on by believing that we know what people are thinking about us. How can this be so? How can we know what other people are thinking of us, it's not possible.

Everything that is causing your low self esteem is inside your head. If you could have thoughts that you believe you are confident, you are strong you are positive, everybody loves you, you can start to change how you are. Your self talk is causing your problem, not what has been said to you, but the fact that you have reacted to what was said and believed it.

Your problem lies with your mind set, and so you should work on this. Draw on your inner strength and decide that now is the time for you to change. You have to believe that you are a confident strong loving person. Once you can start changing your mind set you will become how you want to be.

I'm not saying it's easy, because it won't be. When we suffer with low self esteem its ingrained in us and becomes part of our being, and so you have to undo all the negativity you have believed over the past. Put it behind you, start today to change, believe that you can change. Be strong and be determined and know that everything about your low self esteem is because you believe these things. You don't have to be this way, you can choose not to be this way purely by changing the thoughts. Decide from this minute on that you are changed, not that you are going to change, and then act in this way. Its not going to be easy you're going to fall back on those negative thoughts but get rid of them, let yourself know "I can do this" Every time you do this and succeed you're going to grow in confidence, you will go from strength to strength. Everything you do will be a sense of achievement and your confidence will grow. Only you can do it. You can ask people for advice, as you have me, but I cant do it for you. You have to believe in yourself, love yourself for the person you know you are. Know you aren't how people see you you know you are as good as anyone else, because you are.

You have told yourself negative things so often you have accepted them as true, and your sub conscious believes you are this way because this is what you have fed your mind, alter your thoughts, believe in yourself, say "I can do this" and be strong.

You are still young with a life time ahead of you, it's never too late to change.

Good luck,
Love,
Kay
x

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