I hate my life
I am 30 years old, just finished my post graduate training in a sub specialty of medicine (I am a doctor) and have a 9 month old cute baby daughter with my husband whom I married after 13 yrs of courtship.
I love him to bits and we have been married for 2.5 yrs....unhappily. Sometimes I wonder...did we never figure each other out in 13 years? have we changed? Is it possible to dislike someone so much and yet have a dull constant ache in my heart with love for him?
We were madly passionately in love with each other up until a few months ago. Now, I definitely dislike him a lot but love him loads, and I am sure he shares my sentiments.
We do not agree on anything, he dislikes all my little habits, and I his. More than half the days we are not talking to each other because we are angry.
He is under a lot of financial pressures from his parents and a widowed sister with 4 kids who are totally dependant on him and do nothing except whine and complain. I do not like being his punch bag. I am not appreciated. I am not going to waste my life because of him trying to live up to his parent's responsibilities (they are all lazy gits).
In short, I am very unhappy. If he is under pressure or stressed, he is fine with everyone else and takes it out on me. He does not shout, he just goes silent and stops talking to me. I could go on and on, but in short, I really wonder how it is possible to hate him so much and still love him so much.
I wish I could leave him but my heart near stops beating if I even think about it. I have messed up my life. There is no escape. I am destined to live in agony and mental torture. I hate my life.