If we are to be able to forgive the past hurts and bitterness, perhaps we should first of all forgive ourselves for all those silly mistakes and upsets that we caused.
Once we have gone through forgiving ourselves maybe then it is easier to forgive the people who hurt us even though maybe in the end they made us face up to our own deficiencies.
Why is it so hard it is to forgive people who have hurt you in some way but so much harder to forgive yourself for the stupid and senseless actions of the past, when you have intentionally or unwittingly hurt someone.
Looking back you should not have done this or that, but it is too late and there is no turning the clock back. Were there times when you took a wrong action, and did not stand up for yourself when you should have done. Perhaps there were opportunities that you missed out on, and situations that you should not have gone into.
Maybe there were people you should have been careful in the way you dealt with them, and there were others that you should not have trusted.
You may be in a job that you should have seen the light, and left before you were in deep trouble through someone else’s mischief making.
It is just so easy to make a tactless remark then realise that person is sensitive about an issue in their lives. They may have lost someone, a relative been in trouble with the law, lost employment, going through a separation, having to give up a way of life they enjoyed.
There are the mistakes you have made, which have affected a number of other people, money that you could not account for, or an incident which could have cost someone their life.
Short cuts which in the end were not short cuts and, which may cost you dearly. The confidential material given out which brought on a lot of grief and lost friends.
Let us face facts. None of us are infallible or are we perfect, but our parents and teachers have expected us to fulfill their ambitions for us. The disappointment that family members feel about us, leave a lasting effect and make us feel that we did not come up to their expectations, and we feel very guilty over that.
It is very hard to deal with past disappointments of our own, when we felt that we could have done a lot better.
We have to learn to forgive ourselves, this will enable us to move forward in our lives.