Feeling lost and unmotivated

by Eleanor
(Alberta, Canada)

I was married last year and my husband is my rock and knows everything about me, but personally I am having a hard time.

I have struggled with an eating disorder for many years (I'm only 28), have been in a program for it and it helped...but I still struggle.

I have a really hard time getting motivated to even take the dog for a walk. I feel like I don't know what to do with myself because there are so many things I need to do. Find a job, sell the house, buy other property, quit smoking, and other things.

I just don't know how to train my brain to stop worrying and get proactive.

Please help.

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UnMotivated About Where I am headed with my life.
by: John Brown III

2-Years I was striving with excellence, getting promotions at the job, meeting positive people that was going somewhere in their lives.

I was with this beautiful black woman, and I was the stepfather of her two beautiful children and she supported me in what I wanted out of life which was happiness, family togetherness, and for all of us as a family to strive and be the best at whatever we all put our minds to. We were a team unit.

But after I fell for another girl maybe you could say that I am the one that cheated first, but I had my reasons for the affair, and hooked up with this other girl.

I am 34 years old and she is 23 years old, nothing even close to what I am looking for in a relationship. After leaving my ex and hooking up with this girl I am with now, everything I have worked hard to achieve, accomplish and succeed at, or in, has me broke, homeless, no employment.

My family don't really want anything to do with me because of my mistake in leaving my ex-fiance and the kids, and jeopardizing a great career at the I.R.S. which was Gods blessing ion my life to build my life around.

The girl I am with now from those who know her best or well, were telling me from the beginning she was going to ruin me as a man. I was going to end up broke, my financial accounts were gonna be devastated, my whole entire world would drastically turn upside down if I continued to date her.

All I did was ignore those individuals who may have been trying to help me then with advice, if not for the way I live now which is a day to day up in the air type of living lifestyle that I have no control over.

"I Left Heaven and Chose To Be In Hell" where I am trying to escape the pit that drags my soul down and down. For all that I have shared to whomever reads this would probably tell me that I must be the biggest fool, and the dumbest person to have let some girl younger than me distract my focus on what and where I wanted to be in my life, nonetheless my future endeavors.

I should have realized back then That GOD was trying to warn me against the devils troops which is what I feel has stolen my life's hard works, and now is trying to destroy me even further as time passes by.

We don't even communicate to each other about anything important, so therefore she is (dead weight) in my life right now that I have to let go because she is not my supporter any more.

I can betcha she was only with me when I had it all: The money in the banks, The $100's of cash dollars in my wallet, The nice Lincoln LS vehicle I drove back & forth to work. The house I left to my ex-fiancee because out of respect for the kids I still to this day consider to be mine.

Please Help me with my decisions because I am a man at a point of no return mentally, maybe because I am looking for that inner love, I may be getting lied to in the face from the girl who says that I am her best friend!

Lack of motivation
by: Kay

Hello Eleanor

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth.

I can offer advice to you, but only you can help yourself. I am sure you have heard the saying 'attitude is everything'? Whatever is going on in your life today you have chosen to happen.

We all have the freedom to choose the way we want to be, and what we want to happen within our day, indeed within our lives.

You can choose not to do something, or you can choose to do it. You hold the power within to be the way you want.

The power is your mindset, your thoughts! Each time you have a thought you have an action, which can be either negative ("I can't be bothered, I'm not in the mood, or I'm too tired") or positive, ("I can do this, I feel full energy, life is wonderful")

You choose your thoughts, and you choose how you react, and those thoughts form your reality. Basically you are where you are today as a result of all the thoughts you have had throughout your lifetime!

I hope you can now realize that when you want to change all you have to do is change your thoughts! Mind boggling stuff! But it's true Eleanor.

Write a to-do list. Write, today I am going to....., and list what you intend to do (maybe put walking the dog at the top, this is a good time to think about what it is that are going to do with your life, and the dog gets exercise at the same time!).

Stay determined and stick to the list, cross them off each time you finish one. No need to make them big things, put your normal chores on it, such as vacuum the floor, do the washing, stop for a coffee, prepare evening meal, take a shower, look in the mirror and say "I love you" to yourself.

Tell yourself how much you enjoyed each thing you have done and that you can't wait to do it again.

Once you find yourself feeling better because of achieving these smaller goals, start working on the bigger ones that you have.

Decide which one you want to achieve first, and break this into smaller achievements. Maybe look through paper for job situations. Phone 3 employment agencies today. The next day, Write letters seeking employment. Something pro-active towards getting yourself a job.

Make steps towards selling the house, and purchasing another one. Unless you take action on what you want to do, you aren't going anywhere!

It's sometimes a good idea to put the job you really don't want to do at the top of the list (or below walking the dog!) because you will feel so good and energized that you got it out of the way first, it will motivate you to move through the remainder of your list!

Each time you cross something off your list you are going to feel better within yourself.

Your attitude will become positive, and if you can get into the habit of writing a list each day until you permanently change into a motivated marvel, you are going to become an amazing young woman, I am sure of it!

I wish you a life filled with positive attitude!

Love
Kay

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