Ashamed of past

Ive always had a problem with alcohol although I am a lot better now. I used to drink regularly between the age of 16-25 to the extreme where I just never knew when I had had enough. This led me to get into states where I didn't have a clue what I was doing.

Unfortunately I got into situations over the years where I had a few one night stands with men and would not have done had I not been drunk.


When I met my husband who I have now been with 12 years he asked me questions about my past and I told him the truth. I have never questioned his past and I'm not bothered by it anyway, I know he has had a lot more partners than me.

My problem is that one of the men I had a brief relationship with turned out to be the brother of my husband's brothers wife. I'm so ashamed because I know my husband is not aware of this but I'm to frightened to own up.

My husband is a bit of a stress head he is not violent but can be controlling in other ways. We do have otherwise a very good relationship but this guilt is not doing my self esteem any good.
I love my husband very much but don't feel I can be open about this as I am so embarrassed.

Have you any ideas how I can deal with this as I beat myself up over it on a daily basis, I have never been unfaithful to my husband but have friends who are unfaithful to theirs who don't seem to bother about it.

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Stress from past
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. I feel the past belongs in the past and you should stop beating yourself up every day. Many of us have done things that we regret, however the past has gone and we can never get it back to change what we did.

I see no reason why you should let your husband know when you come into contact with a man that you had a relationship with. Why hurt him unnecessarily? I am sure this man you speak of wont want you bringing up this past brief relationship, and maybe ruining his marriage. I feel you could do much harm to this family.

You were honest with your husband when you met him, more so than others may have been. There's no need to point out a past relationship every time you see someone from your past.

Leave these relationships in the past where they belong and concentrate on your husband and the love you share with each other.

Love,
Kay

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